I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
