if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
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