She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
