She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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