She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize