Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
