making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
