I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
