That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
