butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
