i don't plan on having that self control this summer
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
