is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
