I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
