when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
