is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
