O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
