yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
