please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize