dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
