Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
