cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
