my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize