Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
