ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize
