So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
