I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
