NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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