Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
