last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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