I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
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