i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
