I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
it was like his penis was on wheels.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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