i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
