I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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