in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
