Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
