Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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