Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
