apparently the secret to your success is patron
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
