i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
