So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Mom said you looked used
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
