DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
