If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
