I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize