Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
