so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
