Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
