Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
