I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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