i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
