So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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