Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
