So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
