six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
