Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Someone shattered a urinal.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
How drunk are you?
Completed.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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