dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
