I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
