dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
