no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
