Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize