he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
